Why did I quit you? Let me count the ways …
I can’t put my finger on a single event that made me stop watching you. To be honest, I don’t remember exactly when I stopped watching.
Whenever I decide to give you another shot, though … I recall exactly why I quit you.
No, my letter to you is not constructive. I offer no solutions. I only point out the maladies. Below are just a few of them:
1.) A player who looks like this doesn’t even stand out. I have no data to support this, but I am certain the ratio of players with full-sleeve tattoos to those without is roughly 9-to-1.
2.) You have decided you don’t need to enforce the traveling rule. It seems to me that being required to dribble whenever moving is a basic rule unique to your sport (See Section XIV). Yet everytime I turn on a game or watch highlights, all the plays look something like this:
8.) The Charlotte Hornets moved to New Orleans in 2002. Two years later, you put an expansion team in Charlotte. Why the F didn’t you just put an expansion team in New Orleans in the first place? Better yet, why didn’t you just keep The Jazz in a place that actually allows jazz?
9.) Wait. The Charlotte Bobcats. That’s a team?
10.) The Toronto Raptors. That’s a team? THE RAPTORS?! Seriously?!
11.) The Memphis Grizzlies. That’s a team?
12.) The Oklahoma City Thunder?! THAT’S a team?!
13.) If the regular season ended today, these teams WOULD MAKE THE PLAYOFFS:
The Miami Heat, who have a 24-26 (.480) record.
The Chicago Bulls, 23-25 (.479).
You don’t even have to play .500 ball to make the playoffs?!